Recognising Signs of an Abusive Manager

Emotional abuse at work can be subtle, making it difficult to recognise. From constant criticism and exclusion to gaslighting, manipulation, taking credit, and threats about job security, abusive management can seriously affect your confidence and wellbeing.

WORKPLACE

Solstice Spirituality

9/28/20263 min read

stressed woman with head in hands at laptop
stressed woman with head in hands at laptop

Understanding Emotional Abuse in the Workplace

Emotional or psychological abuse in the workplace can often go unnoticed. It is subtle and insidious, making it difficult for victims to recognise and address it. Signs of an abusive manager can manifest in various ways, impacting your emotional wellbeing, overall job satisfaction, and health.

Here are some common indicators to help you identify if you are dealing with an abusive managerial figure.

  • Unnecessarily criticising your work, personality or behaviour

  • Undermining your achievements or purposely not giving you support

  • Exclusion from the team or important discussions

  • Triangulation (gossiping or pitting you against other coworkers)

  • Purposely increasing or decreasing your workload

  • Gaslighting (denying or twisting facts)

  • Creating false sense of urgency

  • Taking credit for your work

  • Making threats about job security


Frequent Criticism and Undermining Behaviour

One of the primary signs of an abusive manager is a pattern of frequent criticism that feels unwarranted or excessive. If your manager consistently points out minor mistakes, belittles your achievements, or undermines your confidence, this behaviour may be indicative of emotional abuse. This method of attack can leave you feeling inadequate and anxious about your job performance, which is exactly the aim of such manipulative behaviour.

Isolation and Lack of Support

An abusive manager may attempt to isolate you from your colleagues, making it difficult for you to seek support or build relationships within your team. This can be achieved through direct instructions to avoid teamwork, by fostering a work environment where collaboration is discouraged, or purposely leaving you out of team meetings. They may also use triangulation where they will pit you against other coworkers, creating unnecessary office alliances and gossip. A lack of support during challenging projects or an unwillingness to provide feedback can also suggest manipulative tactics aimed at undermining your professional confidence.

Control and Manipulation

An abusive manager doesn't always need to be verbally abusive for it to be abuse. They can also be psychologically abusive by slowly pushing you out of the business. Exclusion from important discussions, purposely reducing or increasing your workload, denying or twisting facts to make you doubt your memory, creating false urgency, or taking credit for your work are all used to bypass your boundaries and maintain a power imbalance.

Intimidation and Threats

Lastly, pay attention to whether your manager employs intimidation or threats as a means of control. This could include yelling, using aggressive body language, or making veiled threats about job security by threatening to fire you or a 'just leave then, do what you want' attitude when they know you cannot leave due to financial, family, or other reasons.

Such behaviour creates a climate of fear, where employees feel compelled to comply with unreasonable demands or expectations for the sake of their careers. Speaking up about it often results in further punishment, either by being bullied more or being immediately let go.

Recognising these signs is crucial for your mental health and career longevity.

If you identify these signs within your management structure, it may be necessary to document incidents and seek guidance on how to address the situation appropriately. Emotional abuse in the workplace is serious and addressing it can help ensure a healthier work environment.

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